


How Happiness Works

by little_werewolf



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6785206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_werewolf/pseuds/little_werewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s during days like these, where Tony just wants one thing back in his life. So he finally manages to take the phone and call Steve Rogers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Happiness Works

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This fic contains Civil War spoilers. Don't tell me I haven't warned you.
> 
> So, this fic was inspired by the song "Wie geht glücklich - by Sarah Connor" which kind of breaks my heart in several small pieces. So I thought, I could at least make my favourite pup a little happy in my head.
> 
> All errors in this fic are my own.

_Now we stand here together but alone…_  
_I don’t wan’t be alone right now. I love you, but leave you behind myself._  
_But during nights like these I want to get back to you._  
_I wish we could get back up again and start from new._

 

They had once lied in bed together, side by side, like the world couldn’t have anything on them. Nights panting, screaming each other’s name like it was some kind of prayer that could bring them to the other end of the world.

Now, Tony didn’t even know where Steve was anymore. All that he had was a phone, an old one even more so. Something that was so Steve that it made Tony’s heart ache even more.

He let his head lean forward against the desk in front of him, a small pained sound coming from his throat. There was no one left for him anymore. He had broken up with Pepper because of Steve, because Steve and he had finally managed to start to get along. And then Tony had thought he was doing the right thing, only to find out at the last moment that he wasn’t. To feel so shattered to the core that man that he had started to care for so much, was putting his life into the line of fire his old friend who had been a killer over the last few years.

Tony wasn’t going to let himself cry, he couldn’t. The urge was there however, he could feel it at the back of his throat and he bit his lower lip. Maybe if he bit hard enough there would be a real reason to cry. Pain would be a reason, heartache wasn’t.

He swallowed, slowly lifting his head he looked back at the phone lying in front of him. It would be so easy. He could be the better man. He could phone Steve. Maybe try to sort things out again. He knew that there were no Avengers anymore, Tony had made sure of that (and how much that thought hurt as well), but maybe there was something else he could still be able to safe.

“God damn it Rogers,” Tony mumbled and he hadn’t even manged to drink himself any additional courage this time. He had promised he wouldn’t anymore. It was at least one he was trying to keep.

Eventually Tony managed to pick up the phone, letting his fingers brush over the cover before he slowly folded it open and turned it on. There was only one number saved. It would directly call Steve, or at least Tony hoped it would. He stared at it a few times before he pressed the dial button and held the phone to his ear.

“I didn’t think you would know how to work a normal phone,” Steve’s voice came from the other end of the line when he finally answered. Tony let out a hoarse relieved laugh, leaning back against his chair and reaching up to rub at his face with his free hand.

“I grew up with these things, of course I do,” Tony replied, his voice sounding hoarser then he liked it too.

“Just checking,” Steve said, but his usually baiting tone was missing in it. Tony waited for a moment, wondering if he was going to be told to fuck off, in the nice Captain America way, but when it didn’t he spoke again.

“Are you and the others okay?”

“Yeah… we… we put Bucky back on ice… it was his decision, if the same thing like in Berlin happened again…” Steve was trailing off, and Tony could tell from the tone of his voice that he wasn’t happy with that decision.

“I am sorry,” Tony murmured, wincing as he heard Steve’s snort in reply.

“Are you really?” Steve asked, his voice bitter and Tony hated how this felt like going towards their previous grounds of arguments they had been having.

“He is your friend….”

“Well you seemed to have a very nice way of showing that,” Steve retorted and Tony didn’t know what to say to that for a moment. The man had a point. Tony had come to help and then at the end he had messed everything up because he had let himself be ruled by his emotions. But now was his chance to apologize for everything he had done wrong, and he pressed his eyes tightly close before he managed to find the words.

“I am sorry,” Tony whispered.

“Excuse me?”

“I said I was sorry,” Tony repeated, gritting his teeth a little.

“Repeat that again, I am not sure I heard that right,” Steve said, and there was slight tease in his voice, making Tony relax just slightly.

“I said I was sorry, and don’t you dare make me repeat it Rogers or I will take it back again,” Tony said, followed by silence from both sides. All Tony could hear was Steve’s steady breathing, followed by the man moving around. A door was closed, and then he could hear Steve seemingly sliding down along something until was sitting, probably the floor.

“Are you still there Steve?” Tony asked tentatively, wishing that he had a chance to hide away somewhere as well right now.

“Yeah I am here…” his voice was tired, and Tony could just imagine how Steve sat on the ground right now, back leaning against the door with his legs slightly drawn up. Vulnerable, exposed, in a way that made Tony want to be there right with him.

“Where are you?” Tony asked, and he didn’t care anymore how desperate it made him sound.

“You know I can’t tell you Tony,” Steve replied and he sounded frustrated about it.

“But… I want to see you, I want to talk to you,” Tony did his best not to whine, trying to hide how vulnerable he felt right now. It was so rare that he admitted to something that he really wanted, he was scared that it was going to hit him back in the face.

“I’ll come to you.”

“When?”

“As soon as I can.”

Tony let his head hang in defeat, feeling he was meeting a brick wall again. Nothing was really being resolved here, and he could feel the tears prickling at the back of his eyes again. This time he couldn’t stop them, he let out a small strangled frustrated sound as he felt the first one roll down his cheek.

“Tony?” Steve asked, voice concerned.

“I am okay… I am fine…” Tony murmured and then took a deep breath, composing himself again. “You’ll call me before you come?”

“Yeah… sure… don’t do anything stupid until then okay?” Steve’s voice was soft and gentle, and Tony wished he hadn’t grown so attached to it.

“I won’t… got nothing left to do stupid with,” he mumbled, resigned and then pushed his chair back, moving to get up. “I have got to go, see you soon.”

“Tony…” but Tony had hung up, closing the phone with a simple motion of his hand and letting it drop back on top the table. He put his hands on top of the table top, hanging his head and pressing his eyes tightly close. He had done his part, he didn’t know if it had worked, it felt like it happened and he just wanted to forget all about it.

“I tried for us, but what am I… I just make mistakes,” Tony murmured to himself, putting the phone into one of the shelves of the desk and then heading out of his office. He wanted to lie down, needed to try and get some sleep.

Steve had never phoned and Tony had thrown himself into work. If there was one thing that he could at least do was to keep the company running in some kind of way. It was a week later, when he was returning from another business meeting late in he evening, as he saw someone standing in his living room. Tony’s arm moved out, wanting to call the suit as he slowly started to recognize the man’s form.

“Steve?” he called out tentatively, and his kneels felt like they were going to give out. He was so tired.

“Hey… oh hey Tony,” Steve replied and he came walking straight up to Tony, and Tony whimpered when Steve’s hands immediately reached up to hold on to him.

“You can’t do this to an old man like me, my heart won’t take it,” Tony teased weakly, and a moment later he felt Steve’s lips press against his own. The kiss was tentative, tender, as if they were doing it for the first time and making sure not do anything wrong.

“Fuck…” Tony murmured when Steve eventually pulled away and rested his forehead against Steve’s strong shoulder.

“Later, maybe we can talk now?” Steve asked hesitantly, and Tony pulled his head back to look up at Steve with a tentative smile.

“Yeah let’s talk,” Tony agreed with a small nod and took a small step back.

Maybe they could talk this out. It would be a start. Everything else was progress.

 


End file.
